Unbelievable Unknown - 20th Anniversary Re​-​issue

by Dave Howard

Got no car. Got no house. Got a lot of things I do without. Got no stocks. Got no bonds. Got no trust fund that I'm livin' on. I got nothin'. I got nothin'. I got nothin' to give you but my heart. Got no knife. Got no gun. Got no dreams of livin' on the run. Got no death wish. I wanna live. All my tests came back negative. Got no deadlines. Got no plans. Got no hostages and no demands. Got no mistress and I got no wife. But I've got it all since you came into my life...
I’m sittin’ at the table with a pen in my hand and a blank piece of paper. I’ll just end up crossing it out and tossing it later. Days go by of just waiting for signs in that lack of direction. Everything changes upon closer inspection. Empty mailbox again. Waiting for a call from a friend. Another dead weekend. All my friends have got the "blahs" I guess it must be the season. People are cruel to each other without any reason. Then come the days of nothing to say except for the lyin’. And you wake to the sound of somebody cryin.’ For all the commitments I’ve made, I look at my life and it hasn’t changed. I never took back a word that I’ve said There’s so many things I would never, never do again.
Snapshot 04:31
The cable went down, and your phone keeps ringing. And the neighbors scream over the siren's singing. I'm trapped up here. They busted my connection. And it's one more year spent without a direction. Tears in your eyes, uncontrollable laughter. The city shuts down in another disaster. When the shots ring out and the walls come tumbling down, it's good to have you around. They shake their tambourines, in the storefront iglesia. Where the sinners come clean and the grace will amaze ya. Ya no puedo cantar. I can't sing you the praises. Of this make-believe town and the hell that it raises. 
Serendipity 04:25
I sometimes wish for yesterday before my feet were both back on the ground. Everything was quiet then and no one tried to change my life around. I’m looking for simplicity you see. It’s all serendipity to me. Ahh, ahh. The more you look the more you walk away from things you cannot see. The more you try the more you wonder why it isn’t meant to be. And people come and go so fast, it’s so hard to tell just where I’ve been. Accidental fortune comes and picks you up and takes you for a spin. Answered prayers, musical chairs, try to list the answers that you find. Write it down and then decide how much of it is really in your mind. The things you want will come to you if you will only set them free.
All she remembers from the age of five are the things they taught her 'bout how to survive. "Just do as you're told and don't ever ask why." "You're due for a beating and you better not cry." They hurt you… But those thrift shop shoes won't hurt your feet. When you walk to the corner of Chestnut Street where the cars have faces that pass and stare, but they just don't know and they just don't care. From the age of twelve her life was a mess. Daddy came to her room and he made her undress. And no one was there to answer her cry. And she washed off the blood, but the tears didn't dry. They hurt you… She looks much older than twenty-four, but she's no longer welcome at the liquor store. They show no mercy on a working girl. And a cold-hearted city is her world. Home is a bed in a cheap motel. She's grown accustomed to her living hell. Hunting the streets where her body's the bait. Fishing for love in these rivers of hate. They hurt you…
You say you’re waiting for his love. Will he do what it takes, to make you really happy and learn from your mistakes. We talk about perfection we’re not willing to try. Everybody wants to go to heaven. Nobody wants to die. You can search your mountains. Search your deepest sea. And never find another soul just exactly like me. You can pass me over, oh you can pass the wine. Everybody wants to go to heaven. Nobody wants to die. Say you can’t put your finger on the thing that makes you run. When you cried on my shoulder, was that your idea of fun? Nobody likes to be a fool, nobody like to be denied. Everybody wants to go to heaven. Nobody wants to die.
I want you to hold me. Nobody told me I would need you so badly. You know I would gladly stay in your arms. Ignore the alarms going off in my head. Take the phone off the hook and let’s stay in bed. Don’t let me down or let me down easy. Let me down sweetly. Let me down slow. Don’t let me go. Wait ‘til tomorrow. Don’t leave me in sorrow, alone with my pain. Our love is crumbling, your apathy rumbling like a train in the distance. My token resistance does nothing at all. You put up a wall, and it’s keeping me out. Well you’ve got your space if that’s what it’s about.
It’s a Helluva Highway, where I’ve been. Ain’t no rules of the road. Just keep on movin’. It’s a Helluva Highway, the road I’m on. And in a blink of the twinkle in your eye I’ll be gone. My momma named me Atchison Topeka, but my friends call me Santa Fe And I been runnin’ like a cat on fire ever since I saw the light of day. Never stop anyplace long enough to let my motor cool down. When the sun comes up I’ll be packing my bags and movin’ to another town.
Open the door. You don't have to be cruel. I'm gonna pick the lock if you don't answer my call, I've waited far too long, played the game too hard to lose. I apologize for things I should've said. I knew if I kept my big mouth open, the truth would wind up dead.. Now I'm imprisoned in silence and dissent. Careful to look out for yourself. Put him down, you might hurt yourself. You can't run away from yourself. Come home. It's alright. You don't have to say goodbye. Come home. It's alright. You don't have to Spend The Night.. I saw a falling star along the Milky Way. Summer nights are the best, but I can't stand the heat of the day, I get a headache, and my stomach starts to turn. But I'd like to go to a mountain top, by the light of the August moon, ' til I'm too wound up to stop. I'm on a mission, and I'm ready to feel the burn.
While you were out, had a bad dream. When I woke up, it really happened to me. I had some trouble putting it down on a page. All the words getting thrown around as the storms inside me rage.. I braved the Rain and the Thunder. Stopped on the bridge long enough to watch the water going under. And once I reached the other side, I never thought of going back again. I was given a scarlet letter, made the victim of fear and superstition. I was sent outside, and as I left I could hear the din of machines being destroyed by wind and sea.. How much time has passed us by, while we were trying to write those epic stanzas? When all the metaphors bled for me there on the page, what was there left to imagine?
You want my love. I want to give it to you. You say my name like it means something to you. I risk it all for you. I get a mixed reaction. You can have it all or steal some fraction. We all need love. What are you afraid of? You want love. What do you think I’m made of? It takes time to tell someone how you feel. When our eyes meet, then you know that it’s real. Deep inside you know the magnet is strong. Let it take you and to me you will be drawn.
Let down your guard. Let down your hair. I could fall for you so hard. I know you don’t care. Sweeter than honey, and colder than steel. I’m so used to running. I’m learning to feel. Who do you care for? What do you know? And who are you there for when I let go? When I let go… I can’t pay the cost of you. There’s too much at stake. Who could make love to you? You look like you’d break. Runes full of secrets, those lines on your face. And the best way to keep it…you just stare into space. Real. Real love takes time. Steal. Steal it, rob me blind. Feel. Feel it in my bones. Deal. Deal with it alone.
How I Know (free) 02:58
How do you know you’re in love? How do you know it’s enough? Can you be sure? Is there really a cure or an answer? Now I guess you gotta really take the sweet with the sour. And you’re gonna have to let it unfold like a flower in the springtime, in the sunshine. Now that I’m letting you know Now that I can’t let you go... Time and again I will tell you my friend how I love you. I only wanna hold you here in my arms for a lifetime. And I never wanna hear you complain that there’s no time, ‘cause you’re all mine, and that’s fine. Even if you’re in the back of my mind I remember Every now and then the fire cools down to an ember, but the wind blows, and the flame grows. And that’s how I know I’m in love That’s how I know it’s enough. Yes I’m sure that you fill me with joy and with laughter. That’s how I know. That’s how I know.
From the very beginning you've been on my mind suffering silence I lay bleeding from. helpless semantics came out wrong buzzers and sirens going off. Buzzers and sirens Overreacting was all my fault hoping for lost things to still be there. Parts of me show wear and tear from rubbing off on friends like you. Like you. Flower scent and blue sky all but disappear. White shade fills black space like an apparition so clear. Loss of color, sound begins to pale. Carousel of light returns and flashes. Buzzers and sirens wail. Buzzers and sirens.
Let me take you to the unbelievable unknown. Let me show you mysteries beyond the twilight zone. Leave your mortal worries to the fate of what will be. Let your mind start to unwind, embrace your fantasies. Fall into the solitude if you gain admittance. The warm caress of nothingness really makes a difference. Now that you have found the unbelievable unknown, you must trace your footsteps to ideas you have disowned. Find the strength inside yourself to face the thing you fear. It is not coincidence or luck that brings you here. Calculate and strategize. Prove your own existence. Soon, in time you’ll realize, you came here by resistance. Let me introduce the unbelievable unknown. Often found right where the restless winds have left him blown. Even as the lotus blooms so sweetly from the mire, we disguise enlightenment and dress it as desire. All the lost and lonely years were like a strange adventure. When the haze disappears it leads us to our future.


released March 5, 2020




Dave Howard San Diego, California

Dave Howard was active in the San Diego music scene from 1990 - 2018.
A multi-year nominee for the San Diego Music Awards, Howard's songwriting and stage chops caught the attention of his peers and coffeehouse patrons. This allowed him to collaborate and hang with the emerging artists of the time. Dave has released acoustic, garage rock (The Shamey Jays) and ambient electronic music (Upaya) ... more

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